I Need Help With My Son’s Behavior
I am writing to ask for prayer for my 13 year old son. He has been diagnosed with mood disorder and conduct disorder. He has been hospitalized 2x's in the last 2 weeks and has a history of drug/alcohol abuse and very rebellious behaviors. He has several charges pending for selling drugs and most recently tried to stab a knife into my husband's chest. He is currently in inpatient treatment but will be discharged this coming Wednesday. I am trying to find him some residential Christian treatment to help him ASAP. Please pray for me and my family as this has been extremely stressful on all of us. If you know of something to help us we are open for suggestions. Thank you so much for your time.
Hi (name removed),
Thanks for writing to us with your questions about your son and your situation with him.
We will try to answer your questions as thoroughly and accurately as possible. Please keep in mind that covering everything in a single email might not be possible, so if there is something that you're looking for that we don't cover in this message, you can feel free to call us at any time.
Additionally, please understand that we always try to answer questions as directly as possible, without sugar coating anything. It's the truth that sets us free, so we always speak with truth, even when it's difficult to hear.
When we initially read your email, the second sentence jumped out right away. Anytime someone, especially a child, is diagnosed with something like mood and conduct disorders, there is always some kind of underlying problem that the medical professionals usually miss, overlook or just plain don't understand. So they stick a label on it, prescribe some mood- altering drugs (Prozac, etc.) and some counseling, hoping the problem will go away.
Sadly, way too many kids nowadays walk around in a prescription-drug-induced fog, fumbling through life, trying to figure out who they are and what they're doing. This is not God's way and the sad fact is that the truth could help to set these kids free, if only they and their parents knew the truth and would embrace it.
In your son's situation, his behavior problems probably aren't something that just instantly started happening one day. It most likely happened over time, gradually getting worse and worse. But let's not spend time focusing on what happened back then. Let's look at the here and now and sort out what needs to be done.
What we're about to say might be hard to swallow, but please bear with us and hear God in this. Your son's problems more than likely stem from spiritual problems, not some kind of psychological issues. Extreme behavior such as this is usually caused by demonic influences that a person has opened themselves up to at some point in their life.
It can happen through music, movies, games and much more. Drugs and alcohol only add to it by dulling a person's senses and causing them to be more open to whatever comes their way. Ultimately, a person can end up being dominated by these spirits.
Demonic behavior can cause a person to act violently, rebelliously and erratically.
Matthew 8:28 When He had come to the other side, to the country of the Gergesenes, there met Him two demon-possessed men, coming out of the tombs, exceedingly fierce, so that no one could pass that way.
We worked with one family a few years ago who's 16 year old daughter had opened herself up to demonic influences through drug and alcohol use (and probably other things that we weren't aware of). This young lady had actually regressed in her behavior to the point where she was crawling on her hands and knees like a young child, saying "mommy, daddy". Her language was unintelligible other than those words. She acted just like she was about a year old or less.
Then in sudden fits of rage she would rise up, lash out at her parents, telling them she hated them and trying to physically hurt them. She became very, very strong during these outbursts... too strong for a sick 16 year old girl.
There were other behaviors that took place too, such as reciting the alphabet backwards, in Spanish. She didn't know Spanish. But she could recite the entire alphabet backwards in that language. There were also other things that we won't get into because they are very graphic and crude, but suffice it to say that she was completely out of control.
Her parents ultimately had her admitted to a state-run hospital for people with severe psychological problems... basically a huge mental ward. They were at a complete loss as to what else to do. They had taken her to the local emergency room and the doctors there recommended the state mental ward.
After giving in and sending her there, they contacted us to ask if we could help. They were afraid for her life. After being admitted, she had been throwing herself off her bed in an effort to kill the baby inside of her. She was about 6 months pregnant. At the time, we were not very familiar with this type of situation, but we wanted to help. So we prayed and fasted and went to visit the young girl the next evening.
As we walked into the hospital where she was, we could feel the oppression in the atmosphere. It was thick, dark and depressing. We asked to see the young lady and we were directed to where she was.
We walked into the area, which wasn't her room, but a wide-open communal area where they had patients in their chairs so they could observe them. These weren't typical wheelchairs, but they did have wheels on them, and a tray locked in place to keep them in their chair.
What we saw shocked us. She was slumped in her chair, looking completely lifeless. Had we not known better, we would have thought she was dead. Her skin was cold to the touch and her eyes had huge dark circles under them. When we touched her, she looked up at us and her eyes were so dilated and dark-looking. She mustered up enough strength to whisper "help me".
We immediately wheeled her into her room and began to lay hands on her and pray for her, commanding the demonic spirits in her to leave, in the name of Jesus.
Because we had never done this before, we didn't know what to expect. Part of us expected her to become violent, especially since she had been violent with her parents. Thankfully this didn't happen. We continued to pray for deliverance and then we spoke directly to her and told her to listen to us. We told her that if she wanted God to help her and to set her free from this, she would need to repeat after us.
We told her to tell the spirits to go away from her. She repeated it, barely audible. We then told her to ask God to help her, in the name of Jesus. She whispered it.
At some point in this, the atmosphere in her room began to change. The heaviness began to lift and her appearance actually started to lighten up too. Her countenance changed and her eyes began to lighten up. She began to be able to hold herself up in her seat.
We stayed with her for a while and then her parents came into the room. She lifted her eyes to them and she told them that she loved them. Her words weren't 100% perfect, but she was much easier to understand and she was becoming more and more coherent and alert.
We left shortly afterward. Her parents contacted us the next day to thanks us and to tell us how much better she was doing. Eventually, she was discharged and returned to normal.
Today she is 100% normal and that baby who was inside of her is a healthy boy who is around 13 years old. God set her free and delivered her from demonic oppression.
Now, in all of this there were a few important things that had to happen. Someone had to recognize the problem for what it was. Next, action had to be taken on our part and on the part of the person who was in trouble (the young lady).
There are many examples of this in the New Testament. Jesus cast demons and various spirits out of people many, many times, with the person being completely delivered and set free.
Matthew 8:16 When evening had come, they brought to Him many who were demon- possessed. And He cast out the spirits with a word, and healed all who were sick...
Matthew 9:32-33 (NKJV) 32 As they went out, behold, they brought to Him a man, mute and demon-possessed. 33 And when the demon was cast out, the mute spoke. And the multitudes marveled, saying, "It was never seen like this in Israel!"
And the apostles carried this out too, with this example in the book of Acts
Acts 16:16-18 (NKJV) 16 Now it happened, as we went to prayer, that a certain slave girl possessed with a spirit of divination met us, who brought her masters much profit by fortune-telling. 17 This girl followed Paul and us, and cried out, saying, "These men are the servants of the Most High God, who proclaim to us the way of salvation."18 And this she did for many days.
But Paul, greatly annoyed, turned and said to the spirit, "I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her." And he came out that very hour.
So, in your son's situation, there is much work to be done. You will need to find someone local to you who can help with this. He will need good, Biblical-based Christian counselors who understand spiritual things such as this. You will need to try to sort out how all of this started... how he progressed to where he is today, because things like this usually happen progressively, over a long period of time, not overnight.
You will need to take a good, hard look at your home and what goes on there, in the big picture, to see where you might need to make changes to improve the atmosphere there.
Again, it's hard to nail it all down in one email, but this should give you some good information to go on and some good ideas as to what's involved in working with a situation like this.
You have some hard work ahead of you. Just as this didn't get bad overnight, so it also won't get cleaned up overnight. It will take prayer, fasting, determination and hard work to clean this up.
I wish we could recommend someone to help with the counseling and cleanup, but we don't know where you're located and may not even know someone there even if we did know your location.
If you belong to a local church, check with your pastor(s) for a recommendation regarding a counselor. If you don't belong to a local church, ask friends for recommendations (if you're comfortable with doing this), being careful not to divulge too much personal information about your situation.
You and your husband will need to be in unity as you work through this. It will be tough on both of you, but you can have a breakthrough if you stay together and work hard at it.
Feel free to contact us again, either by replying to this email or by calling us, if you need further help or if you have specific questions. We will try to help in any way we can.
Please keep us updated.
Pastor Curt & Pastor Ellie